While Jim Fetzer has been thoroughly exposed as a shameless fraud more times than anyone cares to count, folks will still occasionally ask me to look into one of his many outrageous lies regarding Sandy Hook. And while I really have to wonder why anyone bothers to pay the guy any mind these days, I’ll always make an effort to accommodate such requests as it is yet another opportunity to demonstrate what a total nitwit the guy is.

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Late last week, our old pal Jimmy Fetzer made the bizarre decision to resurrect a particularly birdbrained claim first published on Maria Hsia Chang’s reprehensible”Fellowship of the Minds” back in January of last year. This claim, like many before it, originates with professional con man Wolfgang Halbig and posits that Danbury Hospital posted about the Sandy Hook shooting a full forty-eight minutes before the first 911 call had been received by Newtown Police, proving once and for all (for real this time!) that the event never happened and that Danbury Hospital – like literally everyone else on the planet, save for Wolfgang Halbig at this point – was “in on it”. This is, predictably, absolute hooey.

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In addition to being a bit of a moron, Wolfgang Halbig is also roughly one thousand years old, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that he… let’s say struggles a bit with even the most basic technology. So when he attached the following image…

…to an e-mail regarding his Chalk Hill shenanigans, I had a few immediate thoughts/questions:

1) What in the holy hell does this have to do with Chalk Hill?
2) How in the world does this prove that Lenny Pozner is a “fictitious character”? My God, what a leap.
3) Of course Wolfgang Halbig does not understand Exif data. Because why would he?

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Despite clumsily exposing himself as nothing more than a desperate charlatan at every possible turn, a shocking number of people (i.e. more than zero) continue to give the outlandish claims of perennial wannabe Wolfgang Halbig the kind of reverence they’ve never deserved. Take for example one of his more recent tall tales: that all 456 students enrolled at Sandy Hook Elementary School for 2012-2013 were actually attending school one town over, at the site of the former Chalk Hill Middle School in Monroe, CT on December 14th, 2012 (rather than starting in January of 2013). Therefore, at least according to him, the shooting couldn’t possibly have occurred as there were no children or educators physically located at Sandy Hook. Unsurprisingly, Halbig has thus far failed to explain how this new theory fits in with his previous allegation that the school was permanently closed in 2008 as Chalk Hill was still in use (at least as a school; it continued to house the Monroe Parks and Recreation department as well as Monroe Early Learning Center) by Monroe township up until 2010. Of course this isn’t all that shocking as weaving his fever dreams into any kind of cohesive narrative has never been the guy’s strong suit.

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“Congratulations, you found two middle-aged, jowly, white guys in Fairfield County, Connecticut. Remarkable!” – David Wheeler, CBS News interview, September 23, 2018

Certainly any sane, rational human being would struggle to choose the single most batshit insane component of the thoroughly preposterous and downright repulsive Sandy Hook hoax theory. There are simply too many to choose from, and they’re all just so, so dumb. Here are just a couple of examples:

For me, the profoundly stupid claim that some of the victims – or, as the story goes, some of the child actors who played them (before disappearing forever) – magically aged five years in two short months and then performed alongside Jennifer Hudson at Super Bowl XLVII is the clear-cut winner here. Hands down. The whole thing is just too bonkers, top to bottom. But coming in at a very close second is another absurdity that has a lot in common with the aforementioned Super Bowl babble (such as logical gaps so large that you could drive a couple of bucket-wheel excavators through them, side-by-side; a healthy dose of Prosopagnosia; and of course the nonsensical belief that the Obama administration, or whichever bogeyman is alleged to have been responsible for orchestrating such incredible theater, was able to rope hundreds if not thousands of people into their grand scheme, only to risk it all by re-using “actors” in different, prominent “roles”), and that is the claim that David Wheeler, father of six year-old victim Benjamin Wheeler, played the part of both grieving father and FBI Special Agent on the day of the shooting.

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The claim that no one died at Sandy Hook School on December 14th, 2012, and that it was all just a “drill”, presents nearly endless logistical complications, most of which have been hand waved away by deniers. But one issue that they have attempted to tackle, albeit in their own special way, is: what happened to the twenty young victims? Where did they go? If they’re all still alive, why hasn’t anyone seen them in the nearly six years since the shooting? Well, many of these doofuses will happily tell you that we have, and at Super Bowl XLVII, of all places.

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Reader Patrick Lange left the following comment on my “Debunking Claims Made About The Child Victims Of Sandy Hook” entry:

Hey, I am no photoshop expert. Hoaxer claimed that the one with the family standing in front of the christmas tree is photoshopped. I gave him this link in an argument, but he gave me this picture. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DSwSaV4VQAIRvP6.jpg

He told me “Inconsistent error level. Some areas as bright and even brighter than the shopped on circle. Other areas abnormally dark. Shopped Photo” Can you please explain this?

I’m happy to explain, despite the fact that the clown making these claims couldn’t be bothered. But seeing as how they’re clearly talking out of their ass, I can’t say I really blame them for keeping it so short. They want you to believe that any bright color in an error level analysis means that a photo, as a whole, has been manipulated (beyond the simple addition of the circle), and is therefore fraudulent. That’s not only an overly simplistic of how ELA works, but it’s just not true.

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I’m at the point where I’ve pretty much stopped asking most Sandy Hook deniers any serious questions, including those that may ultimately prove useful in illustrating the numerous, grievous flaws in their already dubious claims. This is partly due to the fact that the overwhelming majority of them are pathological liars, and I choose not to waste my time with their nonsense. But more so than anything else, it’s because they simply cannot or will not answer them. As an example, ask Wolfgang Halbig why he continues to use such blurry, low-quality copies of Shannon Hick’s infamous evacuation photos in his near-daily rambling, unsolicited e-mails and you’ll be treated to a wall of gibberish that not only fails to even acknowledge the original question, but attempts to cajole you into answering somewhere around fifty of his own. It’s what’s commonly known as a Gish Gallop, and it’s as exhausting as it is intellectually dishonest. But one question I do still ask from time to time – a question no one has attempted to answer as of this writing – is this: if the school closed in 2008, where did its ~633 students go?
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The students and particularly the faculty of Sandy Hook Elementary School had a well-documented love of reading, from school-wide events celebrating children’s classics such as “Stuart Little”to being the very first school in the district to offer Kindles to their students through the library; to having local figures, such as politicians and newscasters, come in and read to students; to hosting a number of children’s authors, such as Jacquiline Davies, Barbara McClintock, Patricia Polacco, and Tomie DePaola. And Dawn Hochsprung, who took over as school principal in 2010, surely only deepened that appreciation by doing things such as dressing up as the Book Fairy, as shown here in the November 23, 2012 print edition of the Newtown Bee:
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