Unsurprisingly, I don’t have many positive things to say about serial grifter Wolfgang Halbig, a man who has chosen to spend his golden years spreading egregious lies about the massacre of twenty small children and six adults for profit. But I must admit that I’m legitimately impressed by the man’s zeal for firing off barely comprehensible e-mails, each one dumber than the last, to a large group of recipients who have made it abundantly clear that they have zero interest in hearing his bullshit. He’s been doing it for many, many years at this point, occasionally including me in his very unsolicited mailing list, even though I reply-all to publicly drag him each and every time. While this sort of spam is traditionally an annoyance, I’m actually thrilled that he’s still at, otherwise I’d miss out on absolute gems like his latest bout of binary diarrhea:

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The claim that Sandy Hook Elementary School’s parking lot was not compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and as such is further evidence that the school was non-operational in December of 2012 isn’t a new one, but it is relatively minor, which is one of the reasons I haven’t pursued it as doggedly as usual. It’s not that I haven’t tried, it’s just that the experts I’ve reached out to over the years – and I like to try and speak with actual experts whenever possible, rather than speculate wildly – never really bothered to get back to me. But I’ve never stopped looking for definitive answers and now, with some help from the New England ADA Center, I finally have some. My persistence – or ability to profoundly annoy, depending on who are you – finally paid off.

Let’s start by taking a look at the actual claims that have made about the school’s lot by some of the usual suspects…

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In what is very likely to be my final entry in this series (I really can’t imagine, after nearly seven years, that there is much more out there for me to discover), I will be sharing various documents that I’ve found and collected over the years showing Sandy Hook Elementary School to be in continuous operation between 2008 and 2012. While some have already appeared on the site, the majority have not as they’ve just never really fit in anywhere. I have chosen not to share the nearly one hundred issues of the Sandy Hook Connection newsletter in my possession as they are rife with personal information such as the names and e-mail addresses of teachers and volunteers. Large files that may cause performance issues with your browser will be linked for download rather than embedded and sources will be provided when possible.

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Late last week, our old pal Jimmy Fetzer made the bizarre decision to resurrect a particularly birdbrained claim first published on Maria Hsia Chang’s reprehensible”Fellowship of the Minds” back in January of last year. This claim, like many before it, originates with professional con man Wolfgang Halbig and posits that Danbury Hospital posted about the Sandy Hook shooting a full forty-eight minutes before the first 911 call had been received by Newtown Police, proving once and for all (for real this time!) that the event never happened and that Danbury Hospital – like literally everyone else on the planet, save for Wolfgang Halbig at this point – was “in on it”. This is, predictably, absolute hooey.

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In addition to being a bit of a moron, Wolfgang Halbig is also roughly a thousand years old, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that he struggles with even the most basic technology. So when he attached the following image…

…to an email regarding his Chalk Hill shenanigans, I had a few immediate thoughts/questions:

  1. What in the hell does this have to do with Chalk Hill?
  2. How in the world does this prove that Lenny Pozner is a “fictitious character”?
  3. Of course Wolfgang Halbig does not understand Exif data.
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In spite of exposing himself as a desperate charlatan at every possible turn, a shocking number of people (i.e. more than zero) continue to give the outlandish claims of perennial wannabe Wolfgang Halbig the kind of reverence they’ve never deserved. Take for example one of his more recent tall tales: that all 456 students enrolled at Sandy Hook Elementary School for 2012-2013 were actually attending school one town over, at the site of the former Chalk Hill Middle School in Monroe, CT on December 14th, 2012 (rather than starting in January of 2013). Therefore, at least according to him, the shooting couldn’t possibly have occurred as there were no children or educators physically located at Sandy Hook. Unsurprisingly, Halbig has thus far failed to explain how this new theory fits in with his previous allegation that the school was permanently closed in 2008 as Chalk Hill was still in use (at least as a school; it continued to house the Monroe Parks and Recreation department as well as Monroe Early Learning Center) by Monroe township up until 2011. Of course this isn’t all that shocking as weaving his fever dreams into any kind of cohesive narrative has never been the guy’s strong suit.

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“Congratulations, you found two middle-aged, jowly, white guys in Fairfield County, Connecticut. Remarkable!” – David Wheeler, CBS News interview, September 23, 2018

Certainly any sane, rational human being would struggle to choose the single most batshit insane component of the thoroughly preposterous and downright repulsive Sandy Hook hoax theory. There are simply too many to choose from, and they’re all just so, so dumb. Here are just a couple of examples:

For me, the profoundly stupid claim that some of the victims – or, as the story goes, some of the child actors who played them (before disappearing forever) – magically aged five years in two short months and then performed alongside Jennifer Hudson at Super Bowl XLVII is the clear-cut winner here. Hands down. The whole thing is just too bonkers, top to bottom. But coming in at a very close second is another absurdity that has a lot in common with the aforementioned Super Bowl babble (such as logical gaps so large that you could drive a couple of bucket-wheel excavators through them, side-by-side; a healthy dose of Prosopagnosia; and of course the nonsensical belief that the Obama administration, or whichever bogeyman is alleged to have been responsible for orchestrating such incredible theater, was able to rope hundreds if not thousands of people into their grand scheme, only to risk it all by re-using “actors” in different, prominent “roles”), and that is the claim that David Wheeler, father of six year-old victim Benjamin Wheeler, played the part of both grieving father and FBI Special Agent on the day of the shooting.

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The claim that no one died at Sandy Hook School on December 14th, 2012, and that it was all just a “drill”, presents nearly endless logistical complications, most of which have been hand waved away by deniers. But one issue that they have attempted to tackle, albeit in their own special way, is: what happened to the twenty young victims? Where did they go? If they’re all still alive, why hasn’t anyone seen them in the nearly six years since the shooting? Well, many of these doofuses will happily tell you that we have, and at Super Bowl XLVII, of all places.

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